About Staying Negative

Staying Negative aims to emotionally engage, inspire and facilitate imagination in sexual health practices. The campaign profiles the real life stories of gay, bisexual and trans men who have sex with men (MSM). Men talk about all aspects of their life from coming out, relationships, sexuality and a broad range of other topics. While HIV and safe sex is an important part of all stories, it is not the exclusive focus.

Prior HIV prevention campaigns have traditionally focused on providing gay men with information that will encourage them to adopt safe sex behaviours. In reality, safe sex practices are influenced by a whole range of environmental and cultural factors. The campaign also provides an opportunity for HIV positive men to talk about their lives and discuss how their strategies to staying HIV negative were not successful. We understand that there is more than one way practice safe sex and adopt healthcare seeking behaviours, so let's be creative about it!

There are no real criteria for participants other than that they are MSM and happy to have their stories appear as part of the campaign. In addition to the personal stories, the website provides information on HIV/AIDS, sexual health, relationships and broad of the other relevant topics including domestic violence, drugs and alcohol and depression.

Fingering

Fingering, using your fingers to stimulate your partners arse, can be a great part of foreplay or mutual masturbation. Fingering can be fun on its own or it’s a good way to relax and loosen everything up, ready for anal sex. It is a great way to start before fucking as you or your partner can get a feel for what’s going on- what feels good and where, especially if you’re new to anal sex.

It’s important to remember that the anus is a really delicate area with lots of nerve endings so things can turn from good to bad pretty quickly. You want to avoid tearing the area, so make sure you have trimmed and filed your nails so that rough and sharp edges aren’t going to catch and tear the skin- ouch! If either of you like to keep your nails long, it can be a good idea to cover them in cotton wool and then put latex (or non latex) gloves on. This helps to keep the nail blunt while it’s exploring the arse and keeps things from getting trapped under the nail. If you are with a casual partner, gloves are always recommended, fingernails or not. Having a finger up your arse can make you feel like you need to go to the toilet; this is usually just a sensation and will pass but it’s a good idea to go to the toilet before you start.

Lube, lube and more lube!

It’s important to make sure you use plenty of lube as the arse doesn’t lubricate itself. It helps to guide the finger in while making the sensation of the finger moving in the arse a lot more pleasurable. Depending on how comfortable you are with anal exploration, it can be good to start slowly. A pillow under the lower back can help to prop up the bum, making it easier to see and access. Start with one (well lubed) finger and slowly push the finger in, the first knuckle can be a good starting point to see how it feels and make sure your partner is enjoying it. Once your partner is comfortable, you can then start to explore what they like. The prostate is able to be caressed through the anal wall. It’s located a few centimetres in and, if you press firmly (but gently) on the front wall of the anus as you move up, you will find a round lump, about the size of a walnut. This is the prostate, often called the G-spot; it’s highly sensitive and can take fingering to the next level when stroked.

Tell us your story

Tell us your story

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Come and tell us your story! We would love to hear from you! If you want to find out a little more about how it all works, give Jessie a call at VAC on (03) 9865 6700, or email staying.negative@vac.org.au