About Staying Negative

Staying Negative aims to emotionally engage, inspire and facilitate imagination in sexual health practices. The campaign profiles the real life stories of gay, bisexual and trans men who have sex with men (MSM). Men talk about all aspects of their life from coming out, relationships, sexuality and a broad range of other topics. While HIV and safe sex is an important part of all stories, it is not the exclusive focus.

Prior HIV prevention campaigns have traditionally focused on providing gay men with information that will encourage them to adopt safe sex behaviours. In reality, safe sex practices are influenced by a whole range of environmental and cultural factors. The campaign also provides an opportunity for HIV positive men to talk about their lives and discuss how their strategies to staying HIV negative were not successful. We understand that there is more than one way practice safe sex and adopt healthcare seeking behaviours, so let's be creative about it!

There are no real criteria for participants other than that they are MSM and happy to have their stories appear as part of the campaign. In addition to the personal stories, the website provides information on HIV/AIDS, sexual health, relationships and broad of the other relevant topics including domestic violence, drugs and alcohol and depression.

Oral sex

Oral sex involves the use of your mouth and tongue to give pleasure to someone else whether it be on their cock, balls or arse. Oral sex can be called several different things such as blow jobs, giving head, sucking off, fellatio, etc. It can be very enjoyable to both the guy giving and receiving if done properly. It can be really fun and even a little bit naughty because you can practically do it anywhere. Most men really enjoy receiving a good blow job but don’t feel weird if you don’t enjoy it or want it all the time.

Each person enjoys oral sex in different ways so if you’re trying out something new for the first time with a new partner, ask him if he’s enjoying it or read his body language. Oral sex usually involves one partner sucking another partners cock while moving his lips up and down his shaft. When doing this, make sure you cover your teeth with your lips as you could cause tears or cuts that increase any risk of HIV or STI transmission. You can even both suck each other off at the same time by lying on top of each other in opposite directions, this is commonly known as the sixty nine position. You don’t always have to slide his cock in and out of your mouth. You can lick the side of his cock or use your tongue to play with the fraenulum (the part just below the head of his cock). You can suck just the head of his cock or use your hand to wank him off at the same time. Have fun and experiment, try changing positions, using ice or mints to give different sensations or trying it with your clothes on or off.

It is quite normal for you to have a gag reflex which is that feeling of wanting to throw up, cough or choke when a cock touches the back of your throat. To prevent this from happening, you can wrap your hand around the base of his cock so it doesn’t go deeper than you want it to. With lots of practice, you can learn how to control the gag reflex making it enjoyable for both you and him. Try breathing in through your nose in time with the thrusts and hold your breath if his cock is right down the back of your throat. This is called deep-throating and is usually very pleasurable for the guy receiving it. It helps to tilt your head back so his cock can slide down your throat easier and most importantly make sure you relax. It is important to relax your throat as well as feel relaxed overall for you to enjoy oral sex.

Blow jobs can be awesome and are a good foreplay tool, but don’t forget about protecting yourself. Some STIs such as Herpes or gonorrhoea can be passed on through oral sex and although it is rare, there have been documented cases of HIV transmission through oral sex so be sure to always use condoms or dental dams with casual partners. It can be a bit weird and may come across as not the sexiest thing in the world, but unless it is a regular partner and you have both been recently tested, it’s best not to take the risk. If you do end up having oral sex without any protection, be sure to look out for cuts and sores on and around the cock first. If a guy cums in your mouth, you can either spit it out or swallow. Don’t be offended if someone spits out your cum, they may just not enjoy the taste. Also, don’t forget that many STIs have no symptoms so go for regular dental checkups and sexual health checkups, asking for throat swabs.

To read up more on ways to protect yourself during oral sex, check out our How to Protect Myself page.

Tell us your story

Tell us your story


Come and tell us your story! We would love to hear from you! If you want to find out a little more about how it all works, give Jessie a call at VAC on (03) 9865 6700, or email staying.negative@vac.org.au